This Snow White Needs to Toss Her Tivo

I hit the snooze button on my alarm too many times, too often.  I wait until Monday to start my diet.  Again.  Wasting time has become my hobby and my career.  I watch TV between times I have to be somewhere.  A lot of TV.  I do love my TV.  And then one day it occurs to me that a decade has passed.  What am I waiting for?  Adventure?  Maybe.  A challenge?  Probably.  A story line?  Definitely.  I am living my life like a Tivo on pause.  There is a plot, there are amazing twists and turns, action, romance, drama, laughter and tears.  And challenges?  More than I can handle some days.  While I watch my favorite sitcoms, my adventurous life is a dozen shows down on the playlist, begging to unfold.

The latest addition to my recorded collection is Once Upon A Time, Sundays on ABC.  Seems all those fairy tale characters we know and love are stuck in the real world under a curse and they are forced to live hum drum lives as ordinary citizens in a small town.  Being that my brain works quite well when pondering pretend dilemmas, I had an epiphany.  I am Snow White.  Born a princess, adored by her father and her prince, cast away by wickedness, awakened by true love's kiss.  And now, instead of happily ever after, I am walking around this world being a tiny fraction of the person I was created to be.  She is still a sweet, kind and gentle lady, but she is clueless of the woman she once was.  In her real life, she was also bold and bright and tough enough to fight the trolls and defy the witch and give that prince some major attitude before letting him win her heart.  How disappointing that she now chooses to live in a safer and easier but oh, so much more tiresome reality.

I am Snow White, and I am going to live like I know it!  Now is the time for a career change.  Wasting this life is my curse, and I'm breaking free from it for good!  Watch me make my fairy tales come true as I embark on my real existence as a woman, wife, mother, and writer.  No more sleepwalking through this life.  I've registered for my first writer's conference and joined the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators.  This is my adventure and I intend to play this story out.  Stay tuned.

SO I have learned that watching the scale is not working for me.  I have decided to find a new focus:  Spend more time doing something crazy with my husband.  Eyebrows raised?  P90X is our new fun.  Hottie ordered it from the tee-vee and he loves it, but he only has fun if I am there beside him, looking like an uncoordinated Sid the Sloth with no muscular abilities for push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups or any kind of other -ups.  I will not continue to bore you with my progress (or lack thereof), but if I do somehow see some changes after a few or many of our little dates with Tony Horton, I will let you know.

For now, though, I intend to schedule in some quiet blogging time once a week.  No idea what I will say, but I pray that God will enlighten me with cleverness on Thursday mornings.  =]  See you then!

Jillian Michaels Is Just So Mean To ME!

Okay, this is not really me and no, she didn't actually come through my TV and scream in my face.  But, still!  She is mean to me!  She made me do squats and crunches and  lunches lunges.  HAHA  That was honestly what I typed first.  Lunches!  HAA!  Oh, man.  I'm in trouble.  And my knees hurt.  And, AND she made me do all that and more all before my breakfast of coffee and donuts.  I know, right?!  Cruel.  She hates me.

Just kidding.  I had green tea and nut bread for breakfast.  Really.  C'mon!  I am telling you the truth!

I'm hungry.  And did I mention my knees hurt?

Friday's weight was 180.

So I am going to let Jillian torture me all she wants.

Thank you for your attention and sympathy.  Have a nice day.  =]

Did you HEAR that?!

Oh, man!  I just love Buddy!  He is one of those holiday movie characters that just wriggle their way right into your heart and before long, they are as much a part of your old-fashioned family Christmas as Charlie Brown and Clark "Sparky" Griswold.   But Buddy.  Oh, Buddy.  He's got me answering my phone with a "Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?"  Because of him, I love to tell people their faces are so pretty they should be on Christmas cards.  I truly feel that every to-do list should end with "and then we'll snuggle".  I'm even starting to believe he's right about the four main food groups.  Candy, candy canes, candy corn, and --say it with me-- SYRUP!

I mean, just look at him guzzling that soda.  Who hasn't wished they had the guts (no pun intended) to try to down a 2-liter in one gulp?  Just replace his head with mine and make it a Dr. Pepper bottle.  Sweet!  oops, another pun...

This brings me to my point: that my successful weaning from caffeine and sugar before the holidays was all for naught.  I have fallen off the coffee-soda-every cookie in sight-candy, candy, candy, syrup-wagon.  But, BUT!  The mother of all Mondays is coming up.  The first Monday of a new year!  This is a very exciting place to be.  Right here on the cusp of a new era.  Standing on the edge between before and after.  What a view!  It's wide open and I can see anything, anything is possible.  How depressing if every time I gained weight, it was permanent.  How utterly hopeless if I could never start over and try again.  How meaningless a life if there were no way to make up for past mistakes.

Aren't we just the best blessed children of the Lord?  We get so many chances, do-overs after every mistake.  Clean slates.  Why?  Grace.  It is all wrapped up in that one little word.  Who can understand it?  Who can know why we are so freely given something we can never earn?  Thank you, Lord!  Praise you, Father!  I praise you for the forgiveness and the chance to do better.  And I praise you for the consequences of my mistakes, as well.  May I learn from them as I draw nearer to you in the year to come.  May I do better, be better, and live better, in Your Name.

Happy New Year!
Oh yeah, and I weigh 178 today.

Here I Go Again, Getting Physical

disclaimer:  Let's Get Physical is the title of an early 80s song and Here I Go Again is the title of a late 80s song.  I am explaining this because I do realize not everyone speaks in song lyrics like me and not everyone is old enough to remember and/or appreciate 80s music, like me.


Fast approaching is another Monday.  If you are anything like me, (oh, please be something like me!  don't leave me all alone out here in Crazytown) then you know what that means.  Time to start the weight loss program.  Again.

Well, this time I'm serious!  I bought a yoga mat and the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD.  It is on!  Like Donkey Kong!  At the end of this post I will type in my weight as of yesterday morning.  It will be an icky moment for me, but way back when I started this blog I said I would post my weight to keep me straight and on the path to good health and good "after" photos.  My only hope is that it will encourage others and myself to watch it go down while I am heading for my goal weight.  Also, the utter shame of posting higher numbers than the last post should be quite a motivator.  Ugh!

I will check in here now and then to update my status as I move from soft and pudgy mama to kick-ass hot mama!

180lbs.  Oh, boy.